she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
