I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize