Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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