I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We have started to decorate penises.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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