I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
