Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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