is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If I die, sorry about rent.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
