this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
