Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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