I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
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See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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