Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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