You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
