i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Jerry, you need to find god
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
