I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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