There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
