Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
