oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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