My nipple is on Facebook.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
