your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
