everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
