here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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