whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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Life is so much better after having sex.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
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am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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