i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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