dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
