I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
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I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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