My first STD was from a foam party
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize