what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How's work?
Spinning.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
