Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
