So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize