They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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