I wannas sexs uuuuu
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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