mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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