Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
