Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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