according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
