I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
