I didn't shave. On purpose
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
