living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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