After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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