Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
