this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
