Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
