I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Terrible idea I love it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize