sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
