This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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