Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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