I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
