I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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