dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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