I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
