I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
