are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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