You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize