WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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