There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
