he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
