Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
