real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
